Daily Three: Mom? Why are you following me

Today, after a good nights sleep and waking up to lots of love and laughter with the BF, I was feeling quite good. At peace. It’s a feeling I haven’t felt much lately.

He left, and I came down to my room, kind of excited to see what cards would be drawn today.

I shuffled the Dragon Deck (borrowed) in my own neurotic but VERY THOROUGH way. I drew a card and laid her down. Queen of Coins. My first impression was, holy woah, I pulled the Queen of Coins yesterday in the same exact position. Yesterday morning I had went up and spoken with my mother briefly, and it wasn’t a negative exchange for once. It sort of required me to push myself out of my comfort zone (I am sort of agorophobic and a hermit; there are only two people with whom I feel totally comfortable allowing in my space).

The Queen of Coins is a very maternal card. She represents a supermom, really. She cooks and cleans and works and brings in the dough, and still has the energy to be mom. I’m an adult now, living at home, so obviously “being mom” means something different to her now than it did in years past.

Today, I also went up and talked with her for a bit before she left. We laughed together, even, for a minute. It was a pleasant exchange. Then I draw the Queen of Coins again, in the first position. I’m apt to think perhaps this Queen of Coins is my mother. At the same time, I’m noticing that when I stay connected to her through brief but meaningful chats, I feel a hell of a lot better throughout the day. My mom has an impenetrable sense of happiness and serenity that sometimes drives me crazy (when in the midst of our several family crises, for instance, and she seems almost oblivious to reality), but overall is I think her best feature.

So the next card was a fall-out. When I’m being super-sloppy and am dropping cards all over the place, I don’t pay attention to fallen cards. But when I’m concentrating and one slides out, I usually either choose it or I set it aside in addition to my other three cards.

This one was the Knight/Prince of Swords, reversed.

Court cards represent people in our lives— and sometimes ourselves. I know who this Knight is, and I really don’t even feel the need to expound on it here. That’s for a more personal diary sort of thing. But yes, there is definitely a reversed Knight of Swords in my life right now, and there have been some issues, but I feel like they are resolved for now. I sense that the message to ME in this card is to have patience, not REact or let my ego take center stage, and to offer up suggestions. “Slow down a little bit. Let’s take some time to chill together and enjoy life.” And a warning to me: be careful about negative energy. I have a problem with empathetic boundaries as it is, and I have been letting negativity through again lately. It has been making me so depressed and just drained.

The third card literally popped out at me. I kid you not, it flung right out of my hand and LANDED UPRIGHT and right in its place in the spread. I’ve never had a card do that before. I mumbled “Wow, ok, Two of Cups, you really want to make yourself known.” It didn’t take me long to realize the obvious connection between the previous card and this one. The Two of Cups card has been referred to as the “soul mate card”, and it deals very much with TWO people/forces/etc coming together in the middle. Calling a truce. Forgiving and forgetting. Making up?
The Two of Cups is NOT necessarily a romance and relationship card; it can take many different meanings but these are just the central themes. Now, in the Dragon deck I’m using, the images aren’t people, so it’s kind of harder to figure out what’s going on just by looking at the card. But, if you look at some more traditional decks, you’ll see something that has always really caught my eye:

One of the characters in this scene is reaching out, while the other is hesitating.

This is the very nature of the problem I have been having with my reversed Knight.


So, what does this say to me?

We’ve already made up, done the truce thing. Everything is feeling much better. But it’s imperative that I keep in mind, in this particular relationship, that someone has to make the first move or there will always be a stalemate. Once someone makes that first move, the barriers always come crashing down, and communication takes place. When honest and open communication is able to happen, problems go away (I’m talking about in my personal experience with this Knight— I’m sure not everyone in every circumstance relates to this).

Perhaps this is… hmm… not a warning per se, but a reminder. You know what works. You know that sometimes you have to be the one to reach the hand out first. Be brave; despite your past experiences with other people, this particular person loves the heck out of you and will not slap your hand away leaving you stinging with pain and embarrassment.

I am wondering, yet, again, what this Queen of Coins is doing following me around. Is she me? Uh, am I pregnant? That would sure be interesting.

Or maybe, the advice from the Two of Cups is what my mom is advising me to do also. It sounds like something she would definitely say.

I don’t know what she’s trying to tell me, or if she’s just my mother reminding me to talk to her. I’m sure I’ll find out sooner or later!


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