getting mad at the cards.

I’ve introduced a new thing to my daily personal readings that is really helping me to get the most out of it as a learning experience AND a daily meditation. I will draw my three past/present/future cards, and place a fourth one randomly chosen above the three. This fourth card is the card that I will study after I am done putting together my own reading. I was using it as a sort of “theme of the day” card, but for some reason that didn’t sit too well with me. But it’s kind of a fun and randomly chosen way to pick a card to get to know each day.

Anyway, my daily cards have been… um, okay, I’ll say it: they’ve been pissing me off! Why? Because they are starting to get more and more relevant to some real “shadow situations” I’ve got going on in my life right now that I’d honestly really rather just ignore and try to focus on other things. I know that there are situations that we all have in our lives that are sort of… constant irritants, but we have a choice to invest our energy into those situations or to (as I see it) strip them of their ability to effect us. Right? If a person, say, that we care about a lot is starting to really get on our nerves, we CAN choose our battles. When it’s NOT a case of serious conflict…
I would like to treat my “shadow situations” this way right now. Giving the benefit of the doubt, looking at the whole picture instead of just focusing on the parts of it that are affecting and annoying me, being patient and loving… “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting their own battles” kind of stuff.

But my daily cards have been sending me some clear messages. Let me rephrase that: the cards have been TRYING to send me clear messages. I acknowledge that they are definitely in regards to these situations I’m trying to minimize and work around. Every time I draw a King of Coins, I know who/what it’s representing. Yes! I know! Ok? I am having some communication difficulties in my relationship right now and the King (and also the Knight) of Coins (particularly in reverse) are very obvious implications to me.
I’ve also gotten the “trust your intuitions” message through various cards such as the High Priestess (a card I somehow never drew until 6+ months into my Fool’s Journey) and the Page of Cups. Okay. Well, my instinct is to ignore these prickly annoyances. Instinct. But my intuition? Hm. There’s a good point. What IS my intuition about the situation?

And… that’s where I don’t want to go any further. “Okay, I get it.” I say to the cards. Why can’t they just… let me focus on something happier?
Gah!

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One comment

  1. J.J. · December 22, 2013

    That sounds pretty rough. What’s interesting is that maybe, in some small way, even confronting these shadow situations through Tarot might be helping you work through them. There are plenty of people who find a way to go through their days with plenty of distractions to keep them from honing in on what’s bothering them. A little bit of meditation (even annoying, “pissed off at my deck” meditation) might be a positive thing.

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