1) Perception of the situation: The Devil
I am perceiving my situation as hopeless, and myself as helpless.
I am also becoming obsessed in a way that is far from healthy with a few particular aspects of my situation; in my case, I am torturing myself with constantly going back and reviewing the details of my recent traumatic experiences.
Like the figures on the Rider Waite card, I may appear to be imprisoned– but the truth is that I really have more choice in the matter than I am admitting to myself.
2) What am I missing?: Page of Cups
I am missing the birth of new feelings. I am selling myself short, not sure who/what to trust. I hide myself away from people to shield myself from more hurt, but doing so is severely limiting my opportunities for anything new and exciting to come into my life. Synchronicities are also being missed.
3) What am I ignoring?: Two of Wands
I’m ignoring thinking about the future as if it were a REAL thing and not just a blurry, confusing concept. I’m not acknowledging the personal power I possess. I’m not spending this down time visualizing things I want to attract in my life, which is again closing me off to what the universe may have to offer me.
4) What is intuition trying to say?: Ace of Coins
(Woah weird psychic moment just happened) My intuition is trying to tell me to go do something that the devil on my shoulder keeps telling me I can’t handle or I wouldn’t like. And the reason is that there are going to be very unexpected but very beneficial opportunities and rewards hidden in places I wouldn’t “normally” look. So I need to ditch the self-limiting image I have of myself and with the power of the Ace of Coins behind me, I can re-create myself and find success for the first time.
5) What am I really asking?: Seven of Swords
There are several answers. I may be really asking: who is stealing something from me? Who is lying to me? What is being witheld from me? (Odd– that’s basically how I approach my deck every morning for my daily cards, saying “what do I need to know right now?”)
6) The reality of the situation: King of Wands
(Another weird psychic moment here) “When you’re feeling good, you DO good. When you’re feeling bad… you do bad.” Area of focus: the horrible sleep cycle I’ve been letting myself fall into, which is totally stealing days out from under me… (stealing? Look at #5)
7) What can make things worse?: The Star
Putting too much faith in wishful thinking. I need to examine the things I’m putting most of my faith in and be honest with myself about the nature of these things. Getting carried up into cloud 9, having “magical” experiences, and being disproportionately spiritual all need to be avoided.
8) What can make things better?: Nine of Swords
Things will become better if I WAKE THE F*** UP and realize that all of the sad, anxious, depressing aspects of the Nine of Swords are indeed happening, but are largely self-imposed, blown way out of proportion, and something I CAN control if I stop lying to myself and refusing to acknowledge my own fault in it. THEN– and this is the key part– I must take action in reversing all the internal pain I am generating, as well as the habitual and constant self-torture I’m imposing on myself (see #6). It does little good to admit that I’m doing things that are hurting me if I have no intention of changing my behaviors.
Wow. This was weird. To date, this was the most… intuitive-feeling reading I’ve done for myself. The questions that I put the “weird psychic moment” disclaimer on were ones that seemed to speak aloud in my mind as I glanced over my notes on the individual cards. Like, almost actually speaking, inside my head. Channeling, kind of.
The spread itself is very empowering and mind-opening. I feel like this is a good one to try out when you feel you’re really starting to “get” card meanings and ways they fit together to tell a story in a reading. It also forces you to think about the cards not just in keywords, but as an action, as feelings, as a person, as advice, etc. This is a crucial skill you need in order to be a good tarot reader.