reading for anon on self-destructive ways of thinking

Hi, can I request some guidance? I’m kind of struggling here. I have a bad habit of falling for straight girls, people who I know can never like me back, and I just end up idealising and romanticising everything about them until I’m left feeling all angsty and melodramatic about my unrequited love. It’s annoying and bordering on self destructive. Can I ask the tarot for help with this, how I can help myself, or even if it’ll just change soon? (Please keep this anonymous!)

The first card I pulled was Justice, Reversed. This card has to do with the root of the issue you’re facing. One meaning that pops out at me is that of self-deception and an unwillingness to seek out the reasons behind/causes of the events in your life. There is a distortion of idealism here; the scales aren’t staying balanced. As it relates to your situation, I think the message is clear: the first step of fixing the problem is facing it and all of its causes. Perhaps you’d benefit from a couple of therapy sessions, or even just some self-guided therapy. There’s something in yourself that you are refusing, whether consciously or not, to look away from, and it’s causing that idealization issue you mentioned… now, let me draw one more card to look deeper into this issue…

11-Justice

The Page of Wands. Also reversed. Okay. So, the Page of Wands is a person. Given the context of this reading, it is likely a person from your past. It could even be you. The Page of Wands is the “tomboy” of all of the pages, and while the rest are often referred to in the masculine sense, this Page is often suggested to be either gender. That piques my interest a little bit. Some keywords and phrases about this Page: free-spirited, creatively restless, the “Divine Child” archetype, candid, hyperactive, gallant with women. When reversed, the Page retains the same qualities but may lean more toward: the propensity to be a bully, domineering, theatrical and dramatic. Think about who this person is that’s at the root of your problem… maybe he or she needs your attention.

I also drew the Six of Cups. This is a happy card, and the type of happiness is very childlike. It also speaks of domestic love and harmony, good memories of intimacy, giving and receiving, etc. Some say when this card appears, it is you in your child form, coming from the past with a gift for the future. This card signifies where your true desires lie. But how to get there…

The reversed Ten of Wands. Iiiinteresting. Upright, this wouldn’t make sense. This card is about burden and being overloaded with too much going on at once. But reversed, it actually has a somewhat positive tone and tells you that the ENDING of a cycle of being overburdened is in sight. The advice this card gives is: let go of your need to control. Analyze what, in your life, serves you… and what doesn’t. Then throw out all that doesn’t. It also cautions against being too rigid and/or negative in matters of romance!

Lastly, guess what. There’s another Page in the outcome position. Could this be someone you’re destined to find? I’m not going to spoil the surprise, so look up the Page of Pentacles and learn about who you should be keeping an eye out for! 🙂

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