Day 2 

What is blocking my creativity?

6 of Swords – Negative beliefs I am holding on to. Coming out of the acute phase of the pain, trying to keep progressing, though I’m feeling kind of like all the hard work toward recovery that I’ve put in is disappointingly anticlimactic now that I’m actually doing better. Escapism is clouding my mind.

How can I overcome this obstacle?

Justice: BALANCE! Especially balanced thought! What a concept, hahah… seeing the world through a more realistic (and balanced) lens: yeah, I got fucked over by “justice”. But somehow I have to find a reason to believe that the world isn’t a total post-apocalyptic free-for-all. There is still fairness and goodness. This card strongly implies legal matters (which honestly I am sick of thinking about, this past 2+ years has made me absolutely disgusted with the legal system). I don’t WANT it to be suggesting this because this isn’t where I WANT to focus my thoughts (and have faced a lot of discouragement from friends and family when I do start “going there” again) but it could suggest that I really do need closure, and that I am stuck until they really show me the justice I deserve…

What is the first step I need to regain control?

8 of Pentacles – This one came up yesterday too. But in this context, I get a slightly different meaning. Going along with the slightly unsettling theme from the Justice card (and my therapy session the other day), it seems to be saying that I should start getting to work, but that my priorities need to be adjusted (again). This card is about craftsmanship and creating things for the sake of self-expression and self-fulfillment. These things may end up attracting the attention I need, however. Perhaps I need to revisit the painful process of writing my story… or try to work on creating something through some other medium that will help me to heal? 

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